You know we're each the hero of our own story and we perceive what's going on around us and especially in a relationship from the kind of viewpoint of 'Well this is my story and I'm the hero of that and I justify what I do around it.'
I do believe that when you know better you do better. You know what was wrong about the last relationship and hopefully you will do better the next time.
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But I think the real tension lies in the relationship between what you might call the pursuer and his quarry whether it's the writer or the spy.
