The development of beauty in chess never depends on you alone. No matter how much imagination and creativity you invest you still do not create beauty. Your opponent must react at the same highest level.
When I was in my early 20s I had my hair permed. Bad idea! It turned into total frizz. My advice to women is if you have nice hair already don't get a perm leave your hair alone!
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I don't know that I spent any more time alone than any other kid but being by myself never bothered me.