My dad was a homicide cop in the gay neighborhood in the city when gay neighborhoods were desperate depressing sad places run by the mob. The only gay people he'd met when I came out to him were corpses.
I hate being clean-shaven. My daughter gets very upset if I shave and says 'Bring back the spikes Dad.'
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But while mum and dad were incredibly caring it was also a very chaotic household where everyone fought about everything. So I know what it's like to internalize all that chaos.