It just took all of that to come to a screeching halt to get to the point of having nothing for me to finally realize Hey what are you fighting with this for? Until then I hadn't claimed my faith as my own I had just grown up with it.
Know why you believe understand what you believe and possess a reason for the faith that is in you.
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I'm still going to make mistakes but I don't have any problems with publicly professing my faith now. It just took me a long time to get to the right place in my relationship with Christ.
