In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat or cure or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up I change bats. After all if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting how can I get mad at myself?
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Complainers change their complaints but they never reduce the amount of time spent in complaining.
