I think the most important foundation about any relationship is just being honest. You've got to. My wife and I are honest to a fault with each other and we're best friends on top of it so we're very fortunate.
I especially object to having my character assassinated by reference to events from my past which bear absolutely no relationship to the question of who the anthrax killer is.
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The closer and more confidential our relationship with someone the less we are entitled to ask about what we are not voluntarily told.