I think that obviously there is a perverse attraction to a fundamentally changed world or the end of the world. There is a death wish a perverse death wish. Not just for ourselves not just for the movie 'Death Wish ' but for the end of all human life.
I was never afraid of failure after that because I think coming that close to death you get kissed. With the years the actual experience of course fades but the flavor of it doesn't. I just had a real sense of what choice do I have but to live fully?
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When you think about it the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually and as we get older we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.