Steven WrightA collection of 34 posts

Work

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near t...

Time

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that m...

Time

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Time

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Time

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Time

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I order...

Science

When I die I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

Power

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were tra...

Poetry

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Pet

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment som...