Mitch HedbergA collection of 25 posts

Work

If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn...

Time

Y'know you can't please all the people all the time… and last n...

Time

Every time I go and shave I assume there's someone else on the planet shav...

Morning

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I ...

Love

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to si...

Life

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone&...

Great

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of somet...

Good

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good and make a cart.

Good

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I'll ne...

Good

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans because maybe the...