Henny YoungmanA collection of 19 posts

Christmas

I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up – they have no holidays.

Women

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno he's Frank and in Chic...

Travel

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Teacher

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Money

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock.

Medical

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation he offered to touch-u...

Marriage

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

Marriage

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Home

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you ...

Happiness

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.