Groucho MarxA collection of 32 posts

Women

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Wedding

In Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Wedding

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Time

No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.

Time

Next time I see you remind me not to talk to you.

Time

I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.

Time

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set I go int...

Relationship

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Power

I not events have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose wh...

Music

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.