I want to be able to experience everything. I want to experience being a husband experience being a father experience maybe hopefully someday being a grandfather and all those things. I want that experience. When I die I want to be exhausted.
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We have that illusion that we are 'deciding' what to make a character do in order to 'convey our message' or something like that. But at least in my experience you are often more like a river-rafting guide who's been paid a bonus to purposely steer your clients into the roughest possible water.