I really feel like life will dictate itself. You should allow it to unfold as naturally as possible. Just go with the flow. When you're really desperate you say a few prayers and hope for the best. That's the way I've always lived my life.
The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time.
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As you know from school it's when you have not prepared for the test that you have the fear of failing. And if you have prepared even if you fail you've done your best.