I'm a hopeless romantic and very much the person in a relationship to go: If things are going well I'll buy the flowers remember the dates of things plan fun nights out.
I especially object to having my character assassinated by reference to events from my past which bear absolutely no relationship to the question of who the anthrax killer is.
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The closer and more confidential our relationship with someone the less we are entitled to ask about what we are not voluntarily told.