I was looking very much for a career. My second marriage to Stan Herman had ended and I wanted very much to be independent not take alimony from him be on my own do the right thing.
I put my career in second place throughout both my marriages and it suffered. I don't regret it. You make choices. If you want a good marriage you must pay attention to that. If you want to be independent go ahead. You can't have it all.
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Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn't compulsory and its absence doesn't invalidate a marriage.
