If I had to come up with something that just came to me I think growing up in a small town I want knowledge. I still think today knowledge is one of the keys.
All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and sinfulness that they knew by experience they would soon give place to true knowledge and an advance in religion and I felt something like indecision.
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The monopoly of science in the realm of knowledge explains why evolutionary biologists do not find it meaningful to address the question whether the Darwinian theory is true.