When I go back to family reunions everybody goes 'Hey cousin! Hey Auntie!' And I'm like 'Okay I don't know you I have no idea who you are.' I am auntie and cousin for so many and even the ones in prison call me collect. And I'll be like 'Which of my family members are giving you this phone number?'
There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation.
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Here's the thing: the unit of reverence in Europe is the family which is why a child born today of unmarried parents in Sweden has a better chance of growing up in a house with both of his parents than a child born to a married couple in America. Here we revere the couple there they revere the family.
