I think the Mother is gradually revealing itself to me and taking over. But it is not the Mother alone. It is the Mother and the Father the male and the female sort of gradually having their marriage.
It is very frightening to feel alone when you are standing against a rich and powerful person and all his attendant helpers.
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When anything goes digital let alone something as immaterial as a book there is a tendency to see it as just in the air to be taken and to lose the sense that somebody once made it.