I have tried to be a leader. I have tried in my role of being one of the first women at Google let alone the first woman to have a baby to really try to set the tone that this is a great place to work for diversity reasons.
I can work myself up into a fearful paralyzing state of mind that can last for days weeks even months where I feel mad totally isolated and alone overwhelmed and completely out of control.
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Both my husband and I give a lot of ourselves in what we do because that is our public lives but in my private life I have an intrinsic right to be left alone.